Life plays funny tricks on you sometimes

I was apprehensive about this strangers project. I stood nervously for a long time on Cornmarket Street looking at faces before I saw Jennifer walking towards me. As I was asking if she’d mind helping me with a photography project her eyes and mouth slipped into a smile. By the time I’d finished my sentence she was laughing.

‘Life plays funny tricks on you sometimes. Last time this happened was in September six years ago. This man asked my husband for a picture outside Smiths and my husband said, “Wait a minute, my wife’s inside.” So he waited and when I came out he took a photo. By December my husband was dead but I’ve got this lovely photo of the two of us.’

I asked whether Jennifer was superstitious but no, she was happy to have her photo taken, though she warned me she didn’t take a good photo. From watching her talk you wouldn’t guess, but she’s right - the camera shows that her expressive face rarely falls into the stereotyped ‘smiling’ position. I doubt my black and white picture has done her justice.

‘Oh, but doesn’t life play funny tricks on you sometimes. My husband, he’d be so surprised at how I am now. We were the sort of couple that did everything together but you have to pick yourself up and keep going. No-one knows, no-one knows until it happens to them what it’s like, how hard it is. The worst thing, there’s no-one to talk to. These people in homes, the problem is no-one talks with them. We’d been together since I was fifteen, and when he died we’d had more than 50 years together. No-one knows until it happens what it’s like…’

We talked more about bereavement.

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I didn’t tell Jennifer that I had specifically chosen to take a picture of an older woman because I’m interested in how women seem to become less seen as they age, and less heard despite the wealth of life experience that they could offer to others. Today was an opportunity for me to see, properly, and to listen. Although Jennifer didn’t know my motivation, here she was, passing her experience on to me, telling me not to take things for granted, not to assume too much, to cherish what I have.

So easy, after all. Life plays funny tricks on you sometimes.