The Gazweasel Times

By gazweasel

Myth of the Week #1

Thetis was an idiot. She dipped the baby Achilles into the river Styx, holding his heel as she did so. This, of course, meant his only weak spot was the bit of heel Thetis hung onto. What I don't get is why she didn't dunk him up to the heel then turn him round and dunk his feet. Like I said, she was an idiot.

And it would appear that Achilles was not much better.

Picture the scene. It's the eve of battle. You wake up, stretch, maybe have a stiff drink then you decide you need to get ready to fight Hector outside the gates of Troy. Your armour has been polished and prepared. And what do you put on first?

Seriously, if you were about to head out to fight this huge hero, single handed, would you put your helmet on first? Wouldn't you put something on next to the skin first? It just seems totally wrong.

Mind you, he was in a bit of a rage because Agamemnon stole a cow or two. Perhaps he was just confused.

Anyway, we all know what happened. Achilles went all psycho and beat Hector. Subsequently, the Greeks won at Troy after hiding an army inside a horse. All was wonderful for the hero Achilles until old dead eye Paris shot him in the heel with an arrow. The bastard! How did he know?

Maybe Zeus told him. Zeus had always been a bit hot for Thetis, only giving up on her when someone told him that if he did have Thetis, she would bear a son stronger than Zeus who would come back to haunt him.

So, that's Achilles.

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