The very unlikely spy

"Keep reading. Keep reading. Do not look to your left. Pretend that there is nothing out of the ordinary.

Keep reading. Some spy, hey... Look at that... Winter jacket for sub zero temperatures... In a packed Dart carriage, with no opening windows nor ventilation.

Keep reading. And that woolly hat. With the acrylic faux-fur... And that fake red beard. Blending in with the rest of the Dublin commuting underclass...

Blending in my arse! A spy, that's what he is. He is a spy. I'd bet he works for Pakistan Railways. They stole all their overcrowding techniques and capacity reduction policies from Iarnrod Eireann..."