Blimey.

It took bloody ages to fly anywhere today. It took bloody ages for the luggage to turn up. It took bloody ages to get to the hotel. And it's gone really la-di-dah since the last time I was here. I don't think my flip flops are going to cut it at dinner. And men: if you are on the slightly chunky side, don't where a tiny hat. You look like Yogi bear. Or a bottle of Baby Bio.

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