Our spring lamb

17 candles and suddenly the smoke gets impressive

Joel is our only spring baby.

The girls and their dad were all born in winter, I and my sisters and my mum were all born in Autumn and my dad's birthday was in summer.

Joel, on the other hand, bounced into our lives 8 days late and made it into the lighter, brighter positive days of spring. I'm not big on star signs but I'd say I think when you were born and when you celebrated your birthdays growing up and when you made your first memories must have some effect on the person you become. There were many birthdays when he was little that fell on the first warmish day of the year or the first week of the year that it was comfortable to play outside. I guess I'm more of a seasonal sign person rather than a star sign person. I think I shall call myself a Naturologist (because seasonstrologist sounds even more crap). Lets just say I think March in the UK has a tremendous hidden energy.

Cor... I haven't waffled off on a tangent for a while....

The first few weeks of Joel's life were tough though. It was early years with the business, I already had a 2-year-old to look after and Joel suffered with the most terrible colic. I had to spend many many days at home alone with a toddler and new baby while Richard worked - and on weekends as well. And in the holiday season he worked some evenings too. For the first few months of his life Joel could literally scream for hours every day and every night. The stomachache would make him want to feed a lot and then he would feed until he was sick, scream and start again. After a heavy pregnancy, pelvic dysfunction and sleepless nights before he was born, I was already knackered. He was a massive baby (10lb 90z) and I had some trouble getting around and sitting down for weeks after he was born. The pelvic dysfunction went on for another 6 weeks and I hurt to move. But despite all this the lighter mornings and the fact that it was spring made it all seem less hopeless.



Whenever Joel has a birthday these days I can't help but look at him and remember not only his early days but also his birthday 4 years ago. Just days before his 13th birthday he went over the handle bars of his bicycle going downhill and fell with full force and all his weight onto his head. And no cycle helmet either. The hours that followed were terrifying as we waited to see how he would recover and what the damage would be. He smashed up his face and his right eye and cracked his head. He was pretty confused and forgetful for a while. There was talk of rushing him to Bristol for eye surgery but it was decided the damage was done and it wasn't getting any worse. I'll never forget the night I had to go home and leave him in hospital because only one of us could stay and Richard was the only one with a car. I tidied Joel's empty room and spoke to him as I did so as if he was there, telling him how sorry I was and how he must get better. I spent the night on the sofa watching for the dawn and listening for the blackbirds. I thought it would never come. Joel was woken regularly through the night to make sure his head injury wasn't getting any worse.

After a day of CT and MRI scans, meningitis jabs, tests and prodding and poking it was decided that Joel could go home for now. Back home Joel began vomiting and obviously scared the crap out of us but it soon became clear he'd caught Norovirus from the hospital. Somehow with gloves and Milton and bleach I managed to care for him without getting the bug myself and without it spreading to anyone else in the family. I spent several days sleeping on his bedroom floor to keep an eye on him and every day he got a little stronger and little more independent, finally asking me politely to get out and leave him alone. I'd heard how the first few days and weeks after a head injury were the most crucial and didn't want to leave him alone at night but eventually I did. With all the doors open!
We went back to hospital to have his face looked at by the maxillofacial surgery department because of the swelling on his head and they showed us a scan picture. Despite the state of his face and the permanent damage to his eye it was clear he'd been very lucky really. He had damaged his skull but not badly enough to have been too serious. They shoved a bloody great needle in his head and I sat close and pretended not to be bothered as I watched the surgeon suck blood and fluid out of his forehead to get rid of the large swelling and take the pressure off his eye.

Joel's birthday was a quiet affair that year, but he's never been one for making a fuss about birthdays.

Joel is over six foot tall now. He still rides a bike but it took him a while to want to do it again. And he always, always wears a cycle helmet now. I still worry about him every time he leaves the house and panic whenever I hear an ambulance in the area.

I wish someone could have told me on those awful awful nights 4 years ago when I lay awake just to make sure he was breathing that I'd be buying him driving lessons and size XL men's clothes before I knew it!

Joel proved to us that he can't bounce but he did show us how he can bounce back. He calmly plods through life in a way I don't recognise in myself or his dad. I hope he stays that way because there are probably still onehelluvalotta hormones to crash through his body causing all sorts of damage.

We don't see too much of him these days because of the age he is. He tends to prefer his room to our company. But when we do see him he seems like a pretty nice chap!
He's remarkably lovely to/patient with his pest of a little sister.


Birthdays really do come with a whole heap of memories!


Happy Birthday, our Joel xxx

Five minutes later...

Oh yeah - what did we do today? Whoops!

We went for lunch at the garden centre so Joel could eat the sort of shit I don't provide at home. He had a big greasy brunch and scoffed the whole lot in record time. I snuck in a couple of plant purchases (into our trip not into the lunch) and then we went home and I took the dog for a walk while Richard and Joel got out the bikes and bike racks. Then went went for a cycle ride along the Tarka Trail. The wind was flipping cold and strong!
Tess and Joel were a bit drained when we got back so Richard and I took the dog to the beach on our own and then we came back and did the birthday cake before Joel went out. He's gone for pizza and then a film with his friends and his poor dad is having to drink water on a Saturday night because he has to go out at 10.45 and pick them up.