So, how long does it take to repair a puncture?

Don't ask....
Far too long - this process started on Friday. I bought a puncture repair kit, and thought that I could do a quick fix, and carry on with my evening.
Nope.... I finally managed to remove the inner tube - can't find a puncture. Hope it's a slow puncture/misaligned valve, put the tube back in, pump it up.
30 seconds later, it's flat again.
So, plan b. remove inner tube, go back to work. Clear the entire kitchen so that I can fill the sink with water. Find puncture, repair it. Return to bike. Eventually fight tube and tyre back onto bike. Realise I've left my pump at work. Back to office. Clean up, get changed as I'm now filthy, thinking I can just pump up the tyre and head out for the evening.
Return to bike - pump up tyre. 30 seconds later it's flat again.
Wheel bike to pub, drink many pints of London Pride.
Almost fall in love with Jake, who drives me and bike home.
Saturday.
Buy new footpump as I'm fed up with my crappy pump. Buy new inner tube.
Take bike apart, realise that new inner tube is the wrong one.
Re pump old tube, still think it's a valve problem as the puncture repair is holding fine.
I have oil stained hands, several broken nails, have sworn more in the past day than I have in the past month, but think that I have a working bike.
If the tyre is flat tomorrow, I will actually cry.