Day 130 - a Good Friday

I never understood why the day Jesus was so brutally killed and cut off from God could be described as 'Good Friday'. I remember asking my dad when I was younger but I didn't understand his explanation. It all sounded rather convoluted and odd.

It's only now, now that I am a Christian, that I get it. If Jesus hadn't died, I would still stand condemned. If Jesus hadn't died, I would be on my way to facing God's wrath. If Jesus hadn't died, I would actually have no hope.

Jesus, the loving, caring, holy and righteous one, the one and only man who could take the punishment I so deserve, brought God's judgement on himself. He took the punishment so that I can live, not just in this life but in eternity too. I escape the despair of hell and I have a place saved for me in paradise.

'For if, by the transgression of the one man, death reigned through the one, how much more will those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one, Jesus Christ!' (Romans 5:17).

The sin of Adam led to death for us all. We are all sinners. It could be so hopeless, all destined for hell. But Jesus came and died for us to have hope. Believe in him and you shall be saved too! (See Acts 16:31.)

So it is a Good Friday! The whole of the Old Testament is pointing towards the death and resurrection of Christ. His death was no accident, but all part of God's glorious and magnificent plan. Praise The Lord! How good he is!

Having said all that, my account of my day is all rather insignificant feeling! It's good to put on the eternally minded glasses - I am so small and powerless, but God is so big and powerful, he is for me, he loves me and cares for me enough to die in my place, to save me from hell. My little worries really are so small in comparison. If Jesus loves me that much to die for me, surely I don't need to worry about anything!

But we aren't promised easy lives. Looking at the Bible there are so many 'giants of faith', if you will, who had very challenging, difficult lives. Being a Christian doesn't solve all your problems just like that, but it does guarantee God's presence with you to help you through it all (whether you feel it or not) and the promise of eternity with Jesus (where there will be no more tears or pain, hooray!).


***

I was not keen to get up and start the journey home today. I found the task of packing a bit overwhelming.

Eventually, however, I made it downstairs to make a quick smoothie. Then, I just don't know what happened - I stewed some fruit, cleaned the kitchen surfaces AND floor, emptied the bin(!?!), removed the rubbish and dirty crockery from my room...oh, and burnt the fruit so had to scrub at the saucepan for a very long time! I just got so into it all. I was quite anxious or stressed at times, wanted to just cry/collapse onto my bed at others, but some of the time I was really quite OK, maybe even happy. Whyyy?! This is stressful, I must be quite a lot better... But what does that mean? Argh! Usual worries...

Of course all of this productivity did lead to me cutting it very fine with the whole getting home thing.

I felt uncomfortable on the train. Like I needed to lie down/not be visible. Anxious.

I did some CBT reading which was good.

Once back in Reading (only a little late), I went to Giraffe with Heather. I love seeing her. I worried a bit that I was boring or a bad friend but she said I wasn't.