Exit, Pursued By A Bear

This week marks the 450th anniversary of the birth of the greatest ever Midlander - an accolade which is sadly not in hot dispute, despite the best efforts of such Mercian luminaries as Lenny Henry and Gavin from Autoglass - and his presence is still very much felt across the region, from stained glass windows to the 15,000 pubs named after him in Birmingham.

If there's one thing that a childhood in the heart of England taught Shakespeare - as it taught all of us who grew up here - it's how to cheek people properly. So with that in mind, here's a selection of the Bard's greatest put-downs.


"Villain; I have done thy mother." - Titus Andronicus

"Thou cream-faced loon." - Macbeth

"I do desire we may be better strangers." - As You Like It

"Away, you three inch fool." - The Taming of the Shrew

"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." - King Lear

"Thou leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch." - Henry IV, Part One

"Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher." - Much Ado About Nothing

"You egg!" - Macbeth