Day 147

What a terrible few days.

Sad morning today but eventually felt a little better after writing an email to Lucy (she replied to the last one on Friday and this caused a complete breakdown on my part which is why everything has been especially hard).

I remembered I could lean on God and he will never let me go. It doesn't matter if people are against me (but I suspect some of my thinking is irrational and they aren't so against me as I feel). That game me hope.

This afternoon, I enjoyed the colourful flowers of Murray Edwards as I went to visit Emma. And we had mint tea - mint from the garden! I was still fairly low though.

I felt dire on the way back. So didn't want to do anything. No energy. Possibly not helped by a lack of food. But I don't know, I might have had enough.

But Alice was coming in the evening so I had to do some cleaning. I got so hot rushing round and was a bit flustered when she arrived. I spent a lot of the time feeling a bit of a bad host. We cooked nice food and played a game. I felt a bit out of it though.

I managed to tidy up after us and even after she had gone I kept going with the tidying and cleaning. Now I feel reasonably OK. Slightly concerned by how well I am coping with a lack of plans during the day tomorrow...