In the palms of my own two hands...

Gil Scott Heron - The Bottle

I went to the gym, met my friend in Sakae for a festival, a nice time but the festival was average at best. Then after I met my other close friend for a close talk. In my opinion, my close friends are whom I can be deep with, but I understand the fact that being easy and just living with good times is great too. However, something deep inside says to me that we're holding out for knowing that certain times will come, ie. an end or a higher progression. I need this weekend to reflect and take it easy, hence why I spent time with my close friend talking about usual ups and downs. I suppose my anxiety now is just finding another purpose that makes me feel fulfilled. I pine for the times with my close friends in Japan to just drink and chill, like we met for the first time feeling happy just having met each other and secure in the feeling knowing there'll be more. They have come and gone. Nonetheless, our relationships deepen through hardships and helping each other. A real friend is one who you are comfortable with dynamically helping. No questions.

Then I'm at home and I'm reminded of people with deeper problems that simply can't be escaped. It's rude of me to say this, but I know I can go worse, so I'll just keep being positive. However, there comes a point where you need to escape... not knowing where to go. You hope tomorrow is more beautiful than today, even though by default, it already is.

Here a man sits, deep in despair and when he looks up to breath, he looks straight through me knowing that it doesn't matter. He returns to his palms, to return to his thoughts...