The Becon

I wandered for a while today by the river, far removed from where I normally walk but I really just wanted a little time to be by myself. The foreshore here is pretty inaccessible to all but the brave or the foolhardy.

As I walked and looked at the lighthouse, it struck me today, being fathers day that as a father I must be in a little way be like this lighthouse, a beacon for the twins. I have been reflecting recently looking a long way back in my life and I am slowly realising how those formative years scared me and how even now more than half a lifetime removed from those days they haunt me.

I remembered the words of Richard Eyre as I wandered, beautiful words, prophetic words but as many of my friends remember their fathers fondly I try to forget in the main, there must have been good times, I am sure of it, but at this time in my life I honestly cannot remember them.

Our parents cast long shadows over our lives. When we grow up, we imagine that we can walk in the sun, free of them. We don't realize, until it's too late, that we have no choice in the matter; they're always ahead of us.

We carry them within us all our lives--in the shape of our face, the way we walk, the sound of our voice, our skin, our hair, our hands, our heart. We try all our lives to separate ourselves from them, and only when they are gone do we find we are indivisible.

It is my fervent hope that in years to come when I am not here that the twins remember me with a smile, remember me as that beacon, their guiding light, I try hard every day to do the best I can and hope when all is said and done that my best was good enough.

I love this place and never tire of being here, I hope you like seeing it again