One of my close work chums, who's a counsellor to trade, helped me navigate the difficult adolescent years with my daughter. In fact, she saved us from killing each other if I'm being honest. Her words were always brief, simple to understand and made perfect sense once I'd removed my emotional self from the situation.
She gave me a few tools that were crucial in maintaining a trusting, respectful and loving relationship with my teenager and I'll always be grateful to her. Hugely so. Many, many times in recent years I've shared these tools with others.
Visiting the George Wyllie exhibition in Greenock's Beacon, this sculpture brought some wise words back.
Never ask your teenager why... They don't like it anymore than you do and it will almost always put them on the defensive. Cue big irrational row.
Instead, begin to notice. And wonder.
"I've noticed the last couple of times I texted you, I didn't get a reply. I'm wondering if there's something wrong with your phone. I wouldn't want you not to be able to get in touch if you really needed me."
Non-confrontational, respectful and just a bit crafty. Genius isn't it! With practise, it'll roll off your tongue and you'll never need to ask Why? again.
And it'll leave room for you to concentrate on the job of loving and cherishing them and watching them flourish whilst keeping a firm hand on the tiller.
Oh and the Wyllie exhibition is fabulous. It's really made me think. More on that later.
Today outof10? A wondering 8.7 ❤️