Because: I'm tired of holding it in

I know that he will never stumble upon this so I guess it’s safe for me to spill here. I found out that he has a “Blipfoto”. And after reading a few of his entries, I thought I'd make my own. I don’t really know what it is, but it looks like an online journal. I haven’t thought about him since school ended, which I’m fairly proud of myself for, but tonight I decide to scroll through Facebook, which I haven’t done in awhile as well, and I see a post from him which leads me to his blipfoto and next thing I know I’m frantically trying to find more posts from him. To my disappointment, there were only 3 posts.

Am i always going to feel this way? This uncontrolled urge to run full speed toward whenever he’s around? I don’t know if I want to feel that way about him. It’s been four years, it’s unreciprocated, and I’m tired. Besides, I have a boyfriend. I’ve had a few boyfriends throughout my one-sided relationship with him and through those four years of my one-sided infatuation I STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM. Am I ill? A masochist?

It’s funny because I remember the first time I saw him. I thought,”Ugh. He’s such a typical guy. All tan, wearing flip-flops, and a v-neck”. I didn’t care for him. I didn’t pay any more attention to him until he sat with me on the pool table. And then once school started I found out we lived in the same neighborhood. After that I thought it was fate and eventually I would have my chance to be with him. That chance may have come and go without my even knowing it. Apparently fate is cruel and my imagination precedes me.

Teen romance sucks. Or maybe just mine.