Hall

Work as per usual. I had arranged to see Christine because my heart was so heavy, I've felt so alone, isolated, brave face bullshit; Happy Happy Fake Boy. It was really good, really good. I came away sad though. This is different because I usually come away happy. Before you ask, Christine is not some S&M dungeon master.
Anyway, one thing I took from the session is that I had this question, I said;

"I think ever since my dad died I've been overly emotional, you know, I'll cry at the drop of a hat, something really upsets me, hearing about some poor children, used and abused, Horrible. But juxtaposed with that; just seeing my kids being utterly wonderful, looking at them and seeing the perfection, the innocence, the happy go lucky stuff; I well up. In a really positive way. What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you. That's how emotions are supposed to be; instantaneous."

"Holy fuck! When my heart and emotions were locked up all those years, hiding my pain & joy from everyone, that was the incorrect, dysfunctional state. Wow!"

I was looking for answers. I'm always looking for answers. I have been my whole life; who am I? What am I? Where do I fit in? Do I fit in?