Irene, again

Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?
Tell me dear - hahaha - are you lonesome tonight?

That's it man, fourteen years down the drain, boy I tell ya.

I'll never forget the look on Jim's face at the end of the song. Never.

He had this fixed smile, and he was avoiding my eye. He was clapping loudly, maybe because that gave him something to concentrate on. But my strongest memory is that he couldn't look at me.

There's a picture that was taken soon afterwards - the hotel did them, and you bought them as a souvenir if you wanted. He's managed to put a brave face on, but you can still see that look in his eyes, I think. Why do I keep it? It's one of the few pictures I've got of him - Jim would sooner be taking photos than be in them.

Anyway, as Elvis had started to sing, he'd leaned close to me and whispered "he's singing our song, love," and he'd sounded so happy, so proud. It was such a lovely moment.

When he sang that bit about "wish you had hair," it was a shock, I can tell you. Jim was always sensitive about losing his hair, so it was like an automatic thing with me to see how he'd react. That's when I noticed that smile, him nodding along like it was all a great joke, and he was in on it.

I remember feeling like I just wanted it all to stop. It was like Elvis could do anything he liked, and everyone would just go along with it, however stupid it was. And I hated seeing Jim like that, knowing how disappointed he must be, but making himself laugh along with it.

What really hurt him, I think, was realising that for all he loved Elvis, Elvis didn't care about him - didn't care enough to sing the song properly. It sounds silly to say it out loud like that, and maybe it is - but that's what I think.

But look at me, with my stupid picture in its stupid frame. A picture of the only man I really loved, on the day of his big humiliation. Sort of like the same thing, don't you think? You can't have one without the other. And I did love Jim.

But Elvis? No, I never loved him.


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