Display through a fountain

A cheesey awards night with some highlights.

I managed to misinterpret the invite and am one of the few not wearing a suit and tie. However, I was told not to bring a suit to India and I haven't had a Neru made yet.

The nominees are projected through a fountain! The comperes, both from within the company, are very professional. But they read a profile of the winner before the envelope is handed to the high heidyun to make the announcement so everyone (apart from me it seems) knows who is gonna win. Apart from one, where the compere omits the bit in his script where the high heedyun announces, and whilst the guy is still undoing the envelope fires in with the next bit - so yogesh, come onto the stage please - whoops. Another high heidyun gets an empty envelope.

There are quite a lot of awards, the last one is for the best team. The 11 nominees are listed and one sounds like a group initiative that I played part in for my area. So the top three are to come on stage. The third are announced and the music blares - hang on - thats "Smack your bitch up" - Is that appropriate? And then a team member grabs the mike and does a good impression of someone who can't take his kingfisher by talking about moving elephants from one side of the stage to the other before his boss(?) grabs the mike and changes teh subject.

Second place, and the compere is doing his bit, and everything he is saying is ringing bells - these are all apps that I was involved in projects on, and the money saved is huge, and the entity is mine. Wow. Then it strikes me - my colleagues out here are all going to get on stage, and my untucked shiny purple shirt has more in common with the sari's the females are wearing than the suits and ties. Maybe I can sit this out. Nope, I'm collected on the way, and I manage to shake the top man's hand.

I can't wait to tell the office in the UK about this.

So then we drink more kingfisher (until it runs out) and eat food - I avoid the Italian bit and stick to the "Pure Veg" - Methi Mutter, Dal Makhani and something with Chana - all my faves, plus bread - sort of fried rotis. Brilliant. And since the KF ran out, I'm on the Signature whisky and trying to persuade the barman I only want a smidgeon of water.

Bars shut here at about 11 and I witness a scene not unlike the end of last orders in the UK, except there are officials getting involved saying no more drink, however I manage to get another hefty whisky that I don't really want.

Anyone out there tried Old Monk rum - apparently it is a local favourite.