after the party's over

five young men full of fun left in their fancy dress and we had no idea that one would end the night in an ambulance. yes, they're teenagers, they'll push at the boundaries. but we didn't know it was that kind of party and i don't think they did either. not until the older kids came with their bottles of whiskey and the young ones were so keen to impress. then came the phone call that woke me, the plea for help, we're out of our depth, we don't know what to do, please come. and when i arrive someone can't breathe and some else is unconscious, and the blue lights are flashing and i wake some sleeping parents with my phone calls, soon i'm not the only adult there. he drank half a bottle of jack daniels, some beers and four cocktails a girl tells the paramedic. a younger brother pulled from his bed in pyjamas because he can't stay home alone sits, pale-faced and shocked. thank goodness thank goodness they are good kids and they knew how to help or this story could have ended very differently. so now everyone is conscious and everyone can breathe again and when i get my boy home and on his side in bed, i sit the whole night to check he's okay like i did when he was a baby and i thought of the other boy in the ambulance and those long moments when i tried to keep him safe, when i was the only adult there, the scared faces around me suddenly children again, and i had felt out of my depth too.