The baby is yours

What a way to find out you're going to be a dad. At least she can draw, I guess. They've got something in common too, cos this "toarch"/"torch" dude scribbles his name all over this part of town. I'd like to tattoo his name on his forehead so everyone knows it was him that scribbled on their front door.

The Telfer Subway got kitted out with "anti-graffiti" paint about a year ago. Now these kids just use it as a cheap social networking interactive whiteboard. The council kindly wipes all the paint off every few months, just when the screen is getting a bit full.