Mr Network Printer Esq

He looks harmless, almost friendly but it is anything but. It probably would be ok by itself but as soon as it became attached to the network now that is a different story. The printer at home might run out of ink or have a paper jam but that is about it. Mr Network Printer is a completely different animal. First thing he does is to stop printing for a minute or two and then resume again as if nothing happened. After a while he lets certain people print no bother but others he won't entertain at all. That others is usually you. It gets into your physic, just like a horse can and depending on how urgent the job is or how important it is, it takes over and lets other print jobs come online before you. If you are going to print and don't look at the selected printer box, it will have replaced itself with the basement printer.

If you are successful in getting it to work, it runs out of toner in the middle of a job. If you sneak into work early to try outfox it, it cops on straight away. When you turn it on, it spills out about twenty jobs from other departments, as soon as you realise and try to cancel the jobs all the paper is gone.

When you really really need it, it won't work at all or it will despatch a teaser copy first and then nothing. It can bring out the Basil Fawlty in you, before you know it you are armed with a sledge hammer looking for revenge.

Part 2 of Mr Network Printer Esq to be aired next week.