Dreams

Standing in a place of the past with people of the present.

A raccoon comes to me and climbs up, and I am fearful which is odd because Raccoons are my good luck symbol and my favorite animal. I go to move quickly and he latches on to my sleeve. He is going to bite me. My friends panic, as do I. I try to spin him around and throw him off me, but he latches on to the edge of my coat sleeve, I ball my hand and pull it up into the sleeve as high as I can so he won't hurt me. I start spinning him around and around, like I am a discus thrower- thinking he will get tired or dizzy and let go. He is tenacious. He holds on. Finally I scream to my friends to help me get my jacket off and they do and I throw it off and it lands on top of the raccoon. But that doesn't stop him, he chases me, I run quickly and into another place of the past for safety.

Next, many hours later-I am walking in the snow, there are several good fluffy inches. I am walking around my town, it feels good to be out in the cold brisk air. I am feeling hopeful about my plans for the future. I make small talk with towns people as I walk. Then I walk down a street, and see a couch that is horribly stained and worn out in front of a shop. My mother is there, together we sweep off the snow from this old couch which only reveals more of how messed up it is. It smells and looks awful. We must get rid of it. Get it off the street.

There is a shop that has a cargo elevator and there is a trash compactor. We ask if they will help us. They agree, I see the couch get loaded up, I see it make its descent into the basement from the top of the elevator. I go downstairs to talk with the people who will eventually crush it and dispose of it. I am in a basement rummage sale suddenly. There are racks of pretty patterned rain coats, a red velvet couch and stacks of baby clothes among other things. People ask about the new arrival- the disgusting couch. I explain that it is not for sale, that they do not want it. People seem confused. The woman running the sale is confused too. I tell her I will pay her $100 to get rid of it for me. She gives me some plastic cheap toys and things from china, things you would find in a McDonald's happy meal. I do not want anything, I am getting frustrated- I just want to get rid of the couch. I ask for $20 bucks back, I only had a $100 dollar bill. She is confused and now I am confused. I just want the couch to disappear, I just want to get back home. Suddenly, I am not in my town at all. She says I am in Jonesboro.

I don't understand anything. I wake up, my back is stiff and feels like two inflexible metal rods run the length of my spine. I slept hard and strange.

I have many things to do, and these were anxiety dreams...

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I haven't talked much about it here, but I am curating a photography exhibition from Taipei by the Institute du Loop, the exhibition opens a week from today at noon, with the opening reception being a week from Thursday. I am quite anxious about putting this all together. Over the next three months I will be curating three photography shows, then I have October off (to paint) and then I have my own show of the new white series paintings in November. So, this is partially where the anxiety is coming from. I am excited and I want to work and present these artists to my community, but I am also feeling a bit paralyzed. I am sure it will all work out...