Wrinklies` Wit & wisdom

Dave Barry: Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Rodney Dangerfield: When I was young my parents moved a lot -- but I always found them.

George Best: I spent 90% of my money on women and drink -- the rest I wasted.

Johnny Carson:If life was fair Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Doug Larson:Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers.

Anon: I got to the ages where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my spectacles.

Dean Martin:If you drink, don`t drive -- don`t even putt.

Mary Schmitt:Like many women my age I am 28 years old.

Anon:I`m sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don`t hurt




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