Unite And Take Over ....

Learn to love me, assemble the ways.

Watched a programme the paper told me to watch about a girl who works for Marie Claire and who writes a blog about her online dating antics. Well, well, well, who knew it was so complicated?

The programme itself was entertaining enough, glad it was only half an hour as any longer would have been a waste of my life. It was a dramatisation so her experiences were exaggerated for comic effect - I hope! Lots of people who think I'm a sad singleton loser say 'have you tried computer dating'. Er, no. I'm really quite happy, thank you. Yes, it might be nice to have someone to do nothing with every now and then but, really, its not the end of the world when I get to hang out with me (oh dear, that might be a clue).

This programme went on to detail the 'etiquette' about when to change your status from 'Gagging' to 'Fixed Up', and the anguish when your beloved doesn't change theirs. The Facebook Stalking. The disappointment when the hunk who's sold himself as your ideal famous man (insert name here ... too many for me to put) turns out to be the opposite (insert name here). Surely in this day and age you could sue under the Trades Descriptions Act???

The statistics make it sound like every man and his dog are at it (now there's a business opportunity - my friend's trying to get her collie fixed up - how about Patch.com??? This time next year, Rodders, we'll be millionaires!). However, I dont know anyone who does it - or admits to doing it? Could be loads of 'em at it secretly, like dogging.

Anyway, if I ever considered it (didn't) after this programme, I genuinely think I'd rather get caught shoplifting.




Shoplifters Of The World Unite. The Smiths. 1987