Ode to the socks

Oh the socks
Oh the mighty important footy socks.
The socks that I lost.
The socks that I failed to look after in my womanly household duties.
The socks that I washed then 'stupidly' lost
The socks that disappeared
The socks that are soooooo important
The socks that caused you to call me every name under the sun
The socks that made you leave the house because you couldnt stand to be in the presence of such a stupid sock losing idiot woman.
The magic socks
The socks that win all football matches for the wearer
The socks that dont belong to me
The socks that I lost.

The socks that you then found in your stinking football bag from last week!

it starts with 'I am sorry Jessie, you are the Master.........'