Reveal

Looking through some photographs I found inside a drawer
I was taken by a photograph of you
There were one or two I know that you would have liked a little more
But they didn't show your spirit quite as true
You were turning 'round to see who was behind you
And I took your childish laughter by surprise
And at the moment that my camera happened to find you
There was just a trace of sorrow in your eyes
~ Jackson Browne (Fountain OF Sorrow)

On a recent trip to my hometown for a niece's wedding, my son slipped Jackson Browne's Late For The Sky CD into the player. Although my son is 22, Jackson Browne is one of the musicians we have in common. He glommed onto him at a fairly early age as his mother and I played his music fairly regularly at that time.

As the second song came on ("Fountain Of Sorrow"), I decided to share a little of my past with him, that that particular CD/album always reminds me (and probably always will) of one of the first loves of my life. I think that since I've not ever known much about my parents' lives prior to their marriage (and trying to pry history out of my mother is nigh on impossible), I thought that this was as good a time as any to share a little of my life with my son. I think it's important.

Anyway, we didn't really talk much about it beyond my telling him about my history with Olga; how we'd grown up together; how I'd fallen in love with her after high school; how I'd gotten her a job in the same building I worked in at the time; how she met her eventual husband there; how (from what I understand) she died at the wheel of her car in the parking lot at work.

I regret that I have no photographs of Olga, although one that I had for many years (until it virtually dissolved in my wallet) remains etched in my memory. She was smiling, laughing. It was her nature, her spirit.