Pierced Ears

Tonight I had the misfortune to sit beside someone with the most irritating voice I have ever heard. Piercing. It wasn't the volume (although that was slightly louder than average), and it wasn't the speed (although she talked much faster than average), it was the pitch. It was such an irritating level that it was impossible to concentrate on anything else that was going on.

Now I know what poor dogs must go through.

So anyway. I took her aside and explained a few things. Firstly I pointed out that she really needs to go to speech therapy or, worst case scenario, she needs some sort of operation on her voicebox. (can you get voicebox-ectomys?) Then I explained how conversation works. I pointed out that when someone else is talking, not only should she shut-the-fuck-up. She should also LISTEN. Yes, listen. Not just to the occasional word that she will then use to crow-bar in her opinions/experiences, but to the WHOLE conversation. Then when that person has finished, she should pause a moment and check if anyone else has something to add. And if not, then, and only then,she should contribute to the conversation. And I explained that actually we are not really too interested in her twee hobby, her interpretation of best-selling fiction or her views on the Middle East.

sigh. If only.....

I have no intention of ever using this plate for food. And I would like to point out that it is not a decorative accessory. It is in fact quite possibly the most hideous piece of crap I have ever had the bad luck to encounter.

And rather unfortunately, it's in my house..........