The months just keep flying by and I am tempting fate by starting to type this into blip directly, rather than somewhere else first. I hope I don't lose my words, because I feel there might be a few. It was just September not that long ago and now it is the end of October. I remember too when it was the beginning of April, when I started writing more of a journal on here and about how I was going to work hard for the next three months. Of course April-June flew by, those curated shows, and the drinking copious amounts of water phase. September was then going to be about change, and it really was. I think October was as well, hell probably every day is about change. It is colder, like autumn should be and I remember last year's fall so well, it was filled with angst and worry and then a dullness that filtered in...

The sky is just turning that grey white color just before the sun makes its first appearance over the mountain, that will then rise over the empty neighbor's house and over my computer screen and straight into my eyes, but that won't happen for a while yet.

I have been pretty happy lately. I have been feeling better than I have in a long time, and yet that sadness creeps back in just to remind me where I have been. Just a flash here and there, and I wonder if I am in denial. I push it aside, rarely to let it linger, too busy for that. There is always some drama at the studio, or a show to prepare for or a print company to do battle with or something else. A new hobby, a new record, always something... but something in this crisp air makes me just a little lonely.

And then I move on to something else. A contrail shoots across the sky above me, over the empty house, over the computer, cutting through the top three panes in my window. It is highlighted pink, already catching the sun. Who are the people on the plane and where are they going? Are they anxious, do they love to fly, is it their first time or are they seasoned world travelers? The trail is pretty and wide. The leaves shiver in the cold.

I probably have more to say but I won't.

....

Edit: Just watch yesterday's cheesy video again if this made you worry or anything. Hey, could you tell me when my show is again? ;)