Sophia

Today is Rememberance Day and I had planned to take an entirely different blip I had hoped to do something to reflect this significant day. But things change.

We went to see Christian's consultant today.

Christian has decided to stop all his treatment.

He's tired and his body can no longer cope with the constant bombardment of the chemo.

It's been a bit like a war, with Christian's body being the battlefield. I'm still not prepared for the sadness to come. Even after 2 years, I always thought that somehow we would win this battle, but it's not to be.

I sometimes think I'd rather he'd died in an accident or been killed like a soldier than endure the painful torture he's been through.

I read today about students rioting in my home country, UK, I feel like shouting, be grateful for what you've got, but they wouldn't understand.

Sophia, has been quiet. She's watched us with her big, blue eyes. She looked at me as if she understood. And then just sat by Christian's bed.