Gloomy with ...

little glimmers of light.

Its better BIG but I can't get the big link to work!

It would appear that many of us suffered a similar night last night. Emotional ups and downs. Sleeplessness. Bad dreams.

I woke this morning, too early considering I didn't go to sleep until 2.30am. Briefly, when I woke, my mind refused to acknowledge the news from yesterday. Then it seeped back in, like a tidal wave that was not going to be stopped.

A long phone call with my wonderful friend, Lisa (she of 'Chief Bridesmaid' duties last April), tears over the phone are hard to handle when all you want to do is give the other person a massive hug.

Lots of texts between a number of us. A general sense that we felt we all needed to be together, like it would make it a little easier to bear. Sadly, not possible today. However, a little glimmer of light emerged this evening on that front.

Chilled music - Lippy Kids - Elbow

Loud music - Farewell to the Fairground and Bigger than us (White Lies).

Cleaning.

James at his friend's house left me with a little too much alone time.

Corin and I went out to one of our places - Fox Covert Cemetary - I took a little comfort in the company of the departed. It's a peaceful place, with the gentle tinkling of bells and no-one to disturb my thoughts. Some spectacular views out across town and towards Fiddlers Ferry, and Winter Hill.

Then a visit to Corin's parents which led to a very lovely and welcome trip to a local pub for tea.

Conversations with colleagues about practicalities for next week almost caused the calm facade to crack, particularly when those people, who I thought so composed turned out not to be so. You know who you are, both of you. Big hugs.

A strange day. I'm utterly exhausted and hope upon hope that sleep does get me into it's comforting arms tonight, because I think that exhaustion will not help matters as the week begins again.

So many of you left wonderful messages of love, support and just of 'being there' for both myself, Fisherking and the family of our friend, and our colleagues too. A poem from Kip brought me to tears, for the sentiment of the words, but the thoughtfulness of taking the time to compose the words on our behalf. They are all so well received, very much appreciated - so much you cannot know. I am not being rude in not responding right now - but know that I have read them all and they mean so much.