It's beginning to get to me

Despite 3 nights of pretty good sleep, the emotional and physical impact of the events of the past fortnight are finally starting to get to me, and to colleagues I think.

I know that I look utterly dreadful at the moment - my Wii fit age is optimistic when it says I am 43 (7 years older than real age)...really, I feel about 100 right now. With a cold that we all seem to be suffering from, my nose red raw and covered in cold sores, an outbreak of spots to give the average teenager competition and eyes that are so tired they feel like they are full of grit and don't want to open properly, I would make a good horror movie extra.

So the angle of the self portrait is intentional, because I didn't want to give you nightmares. Please know as well, that I am not complaining - it's only a cold and a feeling of tiredness. I am grateful that it will pass.

Strange day, because tomorrow is Geoff's funeral. I am sat here waiting for my mum to arrive with a floral arrangement from Aunty Rose which is to be delivered on behalf of the school tomorrow.

Geoff's wife (for I cannot begin to call her by the term that will now define her on official forms) came in today, to collect the Order of Service booklets from us and to see, speak and I think, just take a little comfort, with familiar faces in a different environment. After she left, a number of us just sat, looked at each other, and words weren't needed - eyes said it all.

We've all got on with things this week - work and life in general have settled back into some sense of normality. Laughter has returned, and we all seem to wince a little less when something is said, or done, to remind us of him.

This afternoon, for me at least, the sadness descended again because tomorrow is Geoff's final act - his last dance before his body, at least, departs.

Tears are going to flow. The church will be crammed. We will sing hymns at the top of our voices and celebrate our wonderful friend, who we will miss daily for a very long time to come.

It just seems so utterly unfair.