Memories.

I am in the process of digitising all of our 35mm negatives and slides. A massive task - it will probably take a couple of years. Each frame takes about 5 mins to scan, and has an average size of 36 Mb.
I have found images that I forgot I had taken - I went through a stage of only getting my films developed but not printed, so some of these I have never seen before.
It is quite an emotional process, as I have not seen or heard from my three children since I left in June 2005.
I love my kids.
I left my wife.
Not them.
They can't forgive me for leaving to be with Liz.
They knew that their mum and I had not been happy for such a long time.
They were relieved when they knew I was leaving, and realised that we would all be happier.
But when they found out that I was leaving to start a new life with Liz, I was disowned by them.
No information about how they are. I don't even think I would be contacted if they were ill, or even dead. A horrible thing to say, but the stone wall I am faced with seems very like a death to me.
Nothing.
No response to my letters.
Contact via lawyers and ex wife only.

It might change.

But I doubt it.

And I can't let my sadness about this affect my new life - I am so much happier, and I can't think that all the people I left behind are having a worse time now without me.

I just don't know.
I may never know.
Such a waste of love.

I can wait.

JimH.