We see dead scripts ....

This is me and Steve in the early hours of today, modelling high-class 3D glasses that came with a cheap DVD we found in the supermarket.

Might I recommend The Haunting of Winchester House? I might, but I shan't. The story of the real Winchester Mystery House is rife with spookfest potential.

Indeed, Alan Moore mined it in an issue of DC Comics' Swamp Thing. This film, though, is laughably inept - awful script, worse acting, crappy directing, poor editing, music by Stylophone, effects by Poundshop ... and the 3D consisted of red and green lines painted on the walls.

The most mysterious thing here was the absence of the promised extras.

Avoid!