Family Healing

Family constellations/Bloodline


The class today came "too close to home" and I did not like the way it made me feel. The class was presented by Colleen Joy-Page at the Academy of Metaphysics here in South Africa. I won't discuss the whole class here, but will only highlight things that touched me and things I know I have to work on.

The first question she asked was "How does the word 'family' make you feel..." Besides your thoughts, she also said to feel for any physical response - and sure enough - there it was, a tight knot in my solar plexus. Why? Because when I hear the word "family" only one person 'jumps' out at me... and that is my father.

When I think about my father, I feel any or all of the following things:

- Caged in
- Manipulation
- Powerlessness (I hate this feeling)
- No freedom, whatsoever...
- Physical/emotional abuse
- False/unfair

The second question she asked was "How does 'belong' make you feel..." and I got more or less the same response, with a bit of sadness 'to give if flavor'.

Some of what I feel I can't name or explain, but I know I don't like the feeling.

The point she made was very clear "Everyone belongs!... Everyone" Everyone belongs in a certain place, you cannot change or rearrange it... meaning my father is my father, he will always be my father, and I will always be his child. In my mind I can push him away as far as I can, but nothing change the fact. She explains that it almost work like a pendulum... you push away, and think it will go away, it has to swing to the other side - and so its in your face again, the same feelings come back - you push harder and give the pendulum momentum - and so the pendulum will swing your whole life and you never get peace.

Easy to say forgive and forget... no no no no - for me to forgive just like that feels unfair.... how come he can get away with things he did, and then again, I'm not willing to face him, tell him exactly how he made me feel, because I don't want to hurt him. Confusing right? Right! This makes me think of a quote I heard a while back... "People will forget what you said, but they will NEVER forget how you made them feel!" This is so so so true...

Osho Family Constellation is rooted in the understanding that through the acknowledgement of what is as it is, and by becoming aware of our basic entanglements, we are able to move beyond the family. Our way of relating becomes more open, conscious and flexible.

"In a way, our objections or disagreements to life function like a handicap. We may think, for example, that it would have been better if our childhood was different, or if our parents had behaved differently, or if we had behaved differently in our relationships - the opportunities for regret when reviewing our
personal life history are endless. But in doing this we are in fact taking away something from ourselves, because the reality of events will not change; all we are doing is denying ourselves the positive experiences that arise out of accepting ourselves and our past."


You can't change your family, but you can change yourself. The only truth that counts, is your own personal truth. No one elses.


Phew... it all sounds complicated to me, but I assume in time I will learn to forgive, learn to love my father (eeeek! can't believe I said that) and put him in his rightful place... as my father and to accept him for who and what he is.

.... thanks for reading to the end


------------------------------------o0o------------------------------------


I took this photo just before we went in for our class, perfect timing/moment - the bird at the bottom has his feet in the air (on his back) - the two of them must have a fight!



Your visit and comments are appreciated! Thanks for visiting!