One daze at a time...

By Raheny_Eye

The Semi Shitbag

The last few years have seen the emergence of a new sort of lowlife: the Semi Shitbag.
A citizen halfway between the Certified Scumbag who will leave his/her dog crap on the pier and happily walk away pretending that nothing happened (that nothing can be found at regular intervals - every 4th step on average), and the Responsible Dog Owner who has adopted the pick & dispose ethos a long time ago.

The Semi Shitbag actually goes through the effort of bagging (which in itself should be praised and encouraged - I always carry lemon drops in my pocket as I do believe in positive reinforcements and the rewarding of pickers) but then lets the rest of the pier-walking population down by dropping the result of his/her careful packaging there and then.

I often wonder why.
Why only go half way? Why this tepid inbetweenism?

Be a rebel! Look proudly around you as your four-legged companion drops a load and comment loudly on the shape/smell/quantity of the offering, invite passers-by to admire this beautiful natural phenomenon for themselves and walk away head held up high with a cheery "so long suckaz!"

Or be a decent person. Pick and dispose.

But do not go "yuk, it's mushy, and it's warm, and it's incredibly heavy, and, oh my God, it actually stinks through the bag, and I couldn't possibly carry this ignominy for another 200 yards to the next bin, I'll drop it here". Because that would make you a Semi Shitbag

PS: did you really think that this was going to be a flower blip?!?! Come on!

Comments
Sign in or get an account to comment.