Its Not War......
......its just the end of love.
well as you can see, have given up the arty macro and gone back to the cheesy!!
Last night was Eurovision party time in our house, the judges assembled with their scorecards ready....this year we were assigned Far Eastern/American countries to ensure impartiality....
some chance of that!!
The Mexican judge,(me) dressed in his poncho and liberally dosed up with red wine and tequila was generous with his scoring, apart from Russia with their dodgy song who only got 3!!!
The Far Eastern judge (no.1 daughter) was very precise and accurate, scoring in fractions and decimals..(Russia and Greece achieved 0.1 and Austria -3!)
The Fijian Judge ( S.I.L) was a little too confused to score accurately giving Ireland 35 out of 30 and complaining bitterly about hemlines and costumes...
The TARDIS judge (boss) wouldn't tell us why she was called that, but promised to be less severe than last year with her scoring.....that didn't last long scoring Finland 3 out of 30, then giving Russia, Serbia, Iceland, Azerbijan and Greece a cumulative total of 7 out of 150 points!!!
The other judges were all over the place, scoring at random intervals between yawning,stretching and going for ill timed toilet breaks....
Anyhow UK didn't win ( no surprise there then) because ultimately despite block voting its just because no one likes us, even the Irish didn't give us many points, despite Jedward and the economic bail out!!!!
Mind you if the ribald comments in our house were anything to go by i can see why we're not universally popular, the Fijian judge especially unhappy about Serbia's lyrics, which she said
" were aimed at subjugating women and were in the process of setting the feminist movement ( which she was proud to be a part of) back about 100 years!!"
The Far East judge equally scathing about Iceland's entry saying :
"if he died after he wrote it it must've been rubbish..."
Someone who shall be nameless stating:
"these scorecards are rubbish, no room for comments..... how do you spell **!!** anyway?"
and finally the grumpy Mexican complaining to the hyper child:
"Thats three and a half hours of my life i'll never get back again!!!!"
So it'll be same time next year then!!!!!