It's today ...

It's my birthday. I'm 30. In exactly 2 hours and 14 minutes (2:20am) I'm 30.

So, a time for reflection. Again. I look back on my life, I've lived as a grown up for the last 14 years, always looking out for and relying on myself. I've been out of school for 14 years .. Doesn't time fly?? I've been working with my current employer for 7 years next week. That means I've been with Mr G for 6 and a half years. I've been a Mother for 4 years. I've been a big sister for nearly 20 years.

Do I have regrets. Yes, some. But right now, this moment .. I'm happy. And I'm proud. Proud of what I've achieved, proud of my little family. Proud of who I am.

I know my Mum is proud of me, but I know that it makes her sad that she didn't have a lot to do with me as I am now. I wonder what my Dad would think of me, pride? I'll never know. Even then, do they matter? It's about me, and my family now. Well, it always has been. But this landmark birthday has had me counting my lucky stars for all that I have.

I haven't spoken of my birthday on FB, or anywhere else really. Not because I want to hide from it. I've felt incredibly lonely of late, and I am just testing to see which of my friends remember me today. Petty? Not in my mind, not when I send birthday messages year after year and usually get nothing back. My thirties are going to see a more assertive, decisive me.

Here is my cake. I made it this evening. I love my cake, it's so yummy and just, oh so lovely! Everyone likes my cake. I've been getting more adventurous on the decorating of cakes lately. I usually make cake for everyone and only end up eating one slice, so this cake, I'm going to enjoy!! I don't like shop bought cake, and no-one else in this house can bake. Everyone is too busy ... Lucky I like making cake huh!