Jake's Journal

By jakethreadgould

How not to travel #1

Our aim for the day was to get from Vorokhta which is deep in the Carpathians to Kamyanets-Podilsky which marks the beginning of Central Ukraine and the lands of arable plains.

Our route would involve some back-tracking through Yeremche and Kolmoyia to a place called Chernivtsi where we'd change bus to KP. We wanted to do this in one day and arrive early because we hadn't booked any accommodation.

We caught a bus all the way to Kolomyia, where I noticed this guy's worker hands clutching the seat. (Most rural people in Ukraine have 'worker' hands and tans that suggest long days out in the sun). As soon as we got off in Kolomyia we saw a but going to Odessa that stopped in Chernivtsi. Perfect.

Fortunately, thanks to Lonely Planet, we had sufficient warning about the complicated bus stations in Chernivsti so we knew to get off at the first (out of town one). Or so we thought. We got off then, our heads swelling with the smugness that smooth and seemingly effortless backpacking brings. The bus drove off and we went to the ticket office.

"Kamyanets-Podilsky?"
"Net, Aftobus centrum" (or something like that)
"Damn, we'll get a taxi"

We raced across Chernivtsi (which looked delightful) in a taxi banging out some Ukrainian techno and arrived at the bus station 5 minutes later. Back to the ticket office - "Kamyanets-Poldilsky?" "Da" she said pointing outside to the bus we had just got off at the first bus station. It was going there all along??!!

All smugness dropped from us as we walked towards the bus driver who was having a wee fag. A smile start to crawl onto his face. "Kamyanets-Podilsky?" we asked, embarassed. "BAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!" was his retort, turning round to his fellow, chunky, sweaty bus drivers. A chorus of guttural laughter echoed between the marshrukhtas (marshrukhty?) as he ushered us back on the bus, suggesting "Odessa?" with a smile.

It wasn't over when we got there, either. There was no-one at the hostel so we waited, walked away and tried again. Still no-one so after an hour and a half of failing to get a taxi we successfully settled on a cheap hotel in the New Town.

Never take travel advice from us.

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