The Daily Comic

I'm a relieved man today. I've been panicking about the economy, the war in Afghanistan and the Dale Farm situation. Thankfully these things aren't actually happening, and the biggest news in the country is the weakest member of a boy band linking up romantically with an over rated comic.

Jesus wept.

I've also been made aware of something called The Only Way Is Essex. I 'read' a feature on it in the daily comic and I quickly became aware of the fact I'd hate every second of it.

In other news I see Demi Moore is looking thinner than a few weeks ago, thanks (apparently) to her breaking up with talentless American moron Ashton Kutcher.

Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the English media.

If the illiterate individual who purchased the canteen copy of The Sun does the same tomorrow I shall blip the crucial newshere for you...... If they don't? Maybe I'll blip my arse, because there is as much news written on that as there is on this piece of monkey turd.