old clinic (?)

I'm bad to the bone
On the day I was born, the nurses all gathered 'round
And they gazed in wide wonder, at the joy they had found
The head nurse spoke up, and she said leave this one alone
She could tell right away, that I was bad to the bone

1st anecdote
when I was young I was sitting in a bar drinking coffee with a cigar between my fingers
my friend arrived with a girl
girl: why are you smoking here?
me: I'm not smoking, it's off
girl: you shouldn't smoke ...bla bla...cigar smells....bla bla...public places...bla bla...smoke is disturbing...bla bla...you shouldn't smoke...bla bla...why are you smoking?
me: I'm not smoking, it's off
girl: so.. why you keep it between your fingers?
me: because in the arse, I feel unconfortable