Good Luck With That.

She promised me that she would go through all my photos and do a big load of backblipping for me.

Instead the Nippy Wee Wifie ran up the garden, took some photos then sat at her desk and composed a letter of complaint.

She read it out to me.




"Dear Sir or Madam,

Further to a telephone call from your colleague Ricky on 12/01/12, I am now providing you with photographs as requested.
The photographs show the failed shed from all four sides and the base that the shed is sitting on.
The base is level front to back, side to side and across the diagonals.

This shed has failed to live up to expectations from the very begining. Despite taking great care with construction it always seemed flimsy.
Some of the timbers were slightly uneven and I had to replace the roof felt about a month after the shed was built. The roof felt ripped and the tiny felt nails just pinged out in the wind.

The tongue and groove separated at various points over the course of the summer, expanding and developing spaces between the planks.
The left side of the front elevation - the side with the doors - developed a bowed look which I managed to hold back and stategically disguise with a large plant pot.
The roof always seemed to be particularly precarious, perched as it was on flimsy looking beams, slotted into the gable ends.

Despite all this I persevered with the structure and never thought to call customer services and whine about it. It is, after all, just a humble garden shed. I was not expecting it to last a lifetime. I thought that I would be happy to have some useful storage even for four or five years.

I certainly didn't expect it to be totally unusable within nine or ten months.

I am aware that outdoor buildings are subject to the vagaries of weather and nature. Timber will always move, expand, and contract when exposed to external conditions. However, I did not expect it to fail so spectacularly when all other sheds and storage in the surrounding area survived the winter with barely a shiver.
My neighbours own a variety of sheds in various stages of utter decreptitude and great age. They are all still standing.

My lovely shed was the "new kid on the block", the fancy, sparkly, new "posh" shed from XXXX XXXX.
My neighbours admired it greatly and even helped me build it as I bragged about the great deal I got from XXXx XXXX.

I'm not bragging any more. Instead I hang my head in shame as I look at the desperate mess that once was my shed.
I have nowhere else to put the contents. All I have been able to do is pile it up, throw a tarpaulin over the lot and hope for the best.
Perhaps my neighbours might oblige with some space for me in their elderly, yet more sturdy garden buildings.
I'm a nurse who works shifts and I've not had any time to sort out the mess. Hopefully I'll get some of it cleared up when I've got a few days off.

I am so, so disappointed with that shed. I had wanted a nice big shed for ever such a long time. I was so proud of it when first it was built.
Now I wish I'd never bought it at all.
It's such a shame because I've been a faithful XXXX XXXX customer for many, many years now and have never had issue with any of your products.

Ricky indicated that someone would call me back on receipt of this email.
As before, my telephone number is 1234 XXXXXX

I look forward to your reply.
Regards
The Nippy Wee Wifie"

Hmmmm, something tells me she's gonna be disappointed.