Livi re-visited

A man is sitting in a pub looking miserable. One of his friends arrives and, concerned by his friends demeanour, ask what the problem is.

"I just can't take it any more" said the man "Things just aren't working out with my wife and I can't face it any more."

"Have you considered divorce?" asked his friend.

"Of course I have" said the man "but her father insisted on a pre-nup which means she gets everything. The house, the kids, the car, the pets, the money, everything."

His friend thinks for a while then says "There's only one option, you're going to have to kill her."

"I could never do that" said the man "as much as it would be the best solution I just couldn't bring myself to do it."

"No, no, not you personally" replied his friend "Talk to that big guy at the end of the bar. His name is Arty, if you tell him I sent you over he'll deal with your problem for you."

Sure enough the man goes and speaks to him and on explaining his problem Arty agrees to help.

"But how much will this cost me?" Says the man "I don't have a lot of cash."

"It's OK, I can sympathise with your plight" said Arty "For you I'll do it for one pound. You'll need to tell me somewhere I can definetely find her and give me a photo."

The man hands over the photo and explains that she always does the weekly shopping in the Asda supermarket every Thursday afternoon.

So the next Thursday afternoon Arty is lurking in a quiet aisle when the wife pushes her trolley round the corner. Not wanting to make any noise or draw any attention Arty waits until she passes then grabs her by the throat and strangles her. Just as she is going through her death rattle another shopper wanders into the aisle. Not wanting to leave a witness Arty has no choice but to strangle the newcomer too.

Unfortunately what he didn't realise is that the whole incident has been captured on CCTV. The police catch up with him and under interrogation he spills the entire sordid tale.

In the next days paper the headline reads....























"Big Arty chokes two for a pound at Asda"

Sorry, I'll get my coat.

Before I do though I should point out that this is a Jerusalem Artichoke I spotted when we nipped back to Livi to get my camera which I'd left behind yesterday.

I've back-blipped for yesterday now too.