Ninety-Nine

Colleague: What is this Big Bang thing?

Me: Well, in a nutshell, a group of particle physicists in a massive underground laboratory near the French-Swiss border are using a huge tunnel to smash proton beams into each other at close to the speed of light in an effort to recreate the conditions prevalent in the aftermath of the Big Bang in the hope of providing a few more answers as to how we came into being.

Cue slack-jawed astonishment that particle physicists are unaware of the fact that all the answers can be found in books dating back centuries which have all the facts needed, conveniently written in a time where accurate documentation was not standard.