Lonely.

Laugh all you like, but I love my cat. She makes all the crazy shit going on in my life, so much more bearable because she just sits there and cuddles me and she'd never judge me or lie to me or backstab me because she's just a ball of fluff who falls asleep on my tummy and has toes that look like beans.

Glad I got that off my chest.

So today i'm lonely. I'm lonely to the extent I can't even be bothered to move. I am seeing Callum soon, which is fine, I just woke up this morning crying because I'd dreamt about Bethan, and waking up to her not being anywhere in sight, was really hard to handle.

I might be seeing her on Monday though, I really hope so, because i'ts been about 3 weeks now since i've been able to cuddle her properly or kiss her for longer than a second. She's not been free to come over in such a long time, which is fair enough because of exams, but I just can't cope sometimes.

Sage is looking out the window here, obviously I dragged her back in because she's a dafty and would have inevitably slipped off and fell to her impending doom, and she means far too much to me, to risk that.

I'm worried about Jess again. I'm worried about alot of things. I'm scared beyond words, but on a plus side, dad's buying me camera lenses and attachments.

~

I can't wait for summer, then I can hug my girlfriend on the beach at Tynemouth, and wrap her in a blanket after we go swimming in the freezing water. We'll get icecream and i'll hold her hand on the metro back to the city. We'll finally be able to spend each night together, wrapped up in a blanket of eachothers arms, as air filters through our damaged lungs, we'll smile effortlessly, on our way to eachothers dreams.