Waiting

I spent the whole day waiting for news, trying to speak to someone who could tell me what was happening and looking for reassurance. Mum was finally moved from A&E in the early hours when a bed became available in a unit where she can be properly assessed. As far as they can tell she has not had a heart attack, but she will have an angiogram tomorrow. Hopefully that will shed some light on her failing health.

A beautiful still day ended with an incredible sunset. I stood and watched the sun go down and let my thoughts tumble around me. I am so far away. I think of my father. I think how tough my mother is - she has been through much worse. I think that I am not ready to say goodbye yet, that I should have visited her more. I think to myself that I should sow some seeds and clear out the potting shed - look ahead to summer and warmer days. I whisper 'Goodnight Maman', put my empty mug by the sink to wash in the morning and climb the stairs to bed.