then again ….. might not

Anniemay likes Marmite so decided to try this in honour of her niece in OZ who swears by it.  Or was that swears at it?

It’s been one of those days.  So thank goodness for the Spanish Driving Laws.  But more on that later.

When we returned from Oz we had no hot water.  Or rather, it only came on when the heating was on.  Which, given the weather of late, seemed unlikely.  I spent a few days experimenting with the boiler settings before giving in and calling the gas man.

There was also a rather unpleasant smell in the house, which we attributed, at first, to the inadvertent switching off of the freezer some 4 weeks earlier.  But by Monday it became apparent it was the drains.  The downstairs loo was backing up and making a stink.

I call the Water Company; “if it’s on your property you’ll be responsible for costs”.  I tell them I’m pretty confident it’s somewhere down the road - it’s happened before.  

A contractor comes on Monday evening, confirms there’s a blockage down the road, but can’t do anything about it.  A tree has apparently fallen over the manhole.

Tuesday morning I phone the council; “fallen tree? - we treat that as urgent.  Where is it?”  I explain - “ah yes, that was reported on April 2nd” (it’s now April 14th).  They arrange to come out immediately and remove the tree.  Which they do.  I call the Water company and they reschedule the job……

This morning, the toilet is still blocked; I call the Water company again; “our service on this issue has fallen short of what you should expect.”  They promise (without fingers crossed behind their backs) to come out NOW.  An hour later, there’s a happy gurgling sound as the water in the pan finally sets off on its long journey to the treatment works.  Only 5 days late.

This morning is also the date for the gas man to call.  We switch off the heating and wait.  It’s much colder today and I begin to get shivery.  I feel worse than yesterday and can’t do much.  I manage to get a GP appointment for late afternoon.

It would appear that the central heating controller has give up the ghost.  It’s the original one from when the house was built, some 40 years ago, so I guess it’s time to replace it.  We’re offered a new whizzy system that allows the boiler to be controlled remotely by iPhone.  Anniemay’s eyes light up.  I’m not so sure; controlling the room thermostat is a man thing.  I would have to surrender this role - or get an iPhone myself.

Eventually heat and hot water is restored to the house and I doze on the sofa until the GP appointment.  

When I awake I can’t find my glasses.  My new prescription varifocals with transition lens are nowhere to be seen.  Eventually they turn up at the back of the sofa, twisted and bent; it would appear that I had fallen asleep on them.  I would need a serious deformity for them to fit.  Which seems a bit extreme.

Then I remember the Spanish Driving Laws.  Back in 2008, Anniemay and I took the ferry from the UK to Northern Spain for a bit of mountain biking.  If you wear prescription glasses while driving in Spain you have to have a spare pair in the car.  I find an old pair in the boot of the car - two prescriptions old - but wearable nevertheless.  They’ll do while I sort out what to do about the broken pair.

We’re just pulling into the car park of the surgery when there’s a message on Anniemay’s phone.  It’s from the heating controller; “I notice that you’ve left the house.  Would you like me to turn the boiler off?”   I expect the message to be signed HAL.