KonMari/Breakdown

I discovered I have 29 pairs of pants. This does not include sweat/workout/pyjama pants. Let it sink in: twenty nine.

Some of these I already had while I was still in the Netherlands (I left in 2007), most of them are from 2013 when I lost all the weight and was on my way to fitting in most of these pants. Oh yeah, because that's the kicker; most of them don't fit. I bought them (at the Goodwill on 50% off day, so at least there's that) when the size I have now started to get a little big. Being me, I started living in the future where I'd be able to wear my Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein treasures.
It didn't happen.
The KonMari principle is that you should surround yourself only with items that spark joy. Clearly, none of the non-fitting pants do that; they mostly spark self-esteem issues. On top of that, they are putting a LOT of pressure on present E. to finally become a future E. that will fit into them.
They had to go. I thanked them for giving me the thrill of finding them, even if I hadn't been able to wear them. I was fine.

Then there was this velvety pinkish suit. I got it the last time I lost a lot of weight (2002, I think) and I love it. And It doesn't fit. It never really did, though I have worn it. When the pants fit, the jacket is too small (I'm .. uh ... much wider on top), when the jacket fits, the pants are too big. So, while I love the memories of the suit, and the joy it sparked in 2002 - it does very little for me now.
I thanked the suit, told it how much I have loved it and put it on the stack of things ... and then all of a sudden I was clinging to it and crying and being all weird and hysterical and obviously I have unfinished business with the suit and I have no idea what it could be.

The Beloved said: "It's okay to keep it!" I pointed at my teary face: "Does this look like it sparks joy? I think not!"

So it's going. As soon as I can figure out why I feel the need to hold on to it. (I discarded a lot of my other Dutch clothes without problems, so it's not that.)