The Mama tribe

About 2 years ago, after a lot of time spent getting ready, I found myself holding a positive pregnancy test. I was full of excitement, happiness and anxiety. I was lucky enough to find a tribe of mamas who were, like me, expecting their baby(babies, we had 2 sets of twins!) around August 2014. We're a weird bunch at times. About 200 women from all over Canada, that got to know each other through the magic of the web. We had some words at times, but we supported each other through all the craziness that comes from pregnancy and parenthood. Who else could I turn two during growth spurt, when I fed Olivier 23 hours in a row? Or who else could I ask if that poop was normal, or if baby would ever sleep through the night? The village it takes, apparently, to raise a child, I found it with these ladies, and I feel very, very lucky. 

Today, one of us lost her battle to cancer. She discovered she was sick when she gave birth to her lovely daughter, Alyssa. She said many times that Alyssa saved her life, because it started the treatment cycle. For a while, it looked as if Barbara would be ok, but then she learned, just a few months ago, seems only a few weeks, that the cancer had came back with a vengeance. She fought so hard, but today, her body let go. I can't even begin to imagine what having to let go of her daughter, of all the life she would miss, was to her. I'm stuck without words as I think of what this little girl will have to learn so early, that parents can die, that life can be that awful. Barbara was a wonderful person, full of quirks, and I was lucky to share a bit of this journey to her. 

I learned that she had passed away as I sat in a waiting room, waiting to hear if the fear had been founded for me. When I came home with reassuring news, I hugged my baby boy very close, with a heavy heart for Barbara, Alyssa, and their family.