Nothing

All day, not a flicker of interest in the human being sat on the sofa (me) apart from when he went outside to crap on the lawn and he stared back in at me with a look that said "haha, by the time you get the key, I'll have finished and there'll be nothing you can do about it".

Then, Corin's key is heard in the front door and sudden he (the cat) becomes the life and soul of the room. Purring, fussing, meow-ing, throwing cat shapes and generally being cute for his favourite human (whilst still displaying towards me what I refer to as contempt, but most other people would call 'the cat's arsehole').

He (the cat) looks cute. Don't fall for it!

Corin on the other hand, is cute and never shows me any contempt. Nor does he crap on the lawn!

I have at least made someone smile today, with my description of my physical trials thus "there's so much happening in my abdomen that I think my heart just wants in on the action".

Got to laugh, eh?!