Turmoil

It seems like I have gone through every emotion possible today.
It's been hard.

Before counselling I went to the beach to watch the waves.

So much was said tonight I can't remember a lot of it, which is not good. Trying to remember gets me so angry, frustrated at myself.
I feel my body tingle all over, it gets too much, I get frustrated even more at not being able to control myself and then I cut. I can control that, it gives me space to breath, it relieves anger. I can stop when I want, I can keep on going, I can control it. I can't control much else.