In The Deserts Of...

Sadly the title doesn't follow on with "Sudan"*.  It is followed by "German customer service".

I play a merely peripheral role in today's proceedings - I'm still trying to sneeze and splutter my way back to health.  My story comes later.

Those of you currently intrigued by "how can the companies involved in renovating the G & Auslaender Bathroom find new ways of proving that 'customer service' is actually a Myth?" will find more grist to your mill from today.

The ReallyHelpfulTileCompany from last week did not phone us when the tiles that we (ordered at our own expense) needed to buy (for the company that has completely  f***ed up building our new bathroom) arrived. 

So we were a little aggrieved (and let's face it, ticking off every box on our "this'll get worse checklist") when G phoned them this morning and was told "Yes, we got your tiles yesterday."

So G headed off down there for the relatively simple task of picking up the tiles.

She gets there.  She can see the box of tiles on the shelf - it's got our name written on the edge, and it's the only box of tiles on the shelf. 

"Can I have my tiles please?" asks G.

"Nein" says the ever-so-pleasant-customer-oriented assistant. 

It is explained that G must wait until the chap who is charge of handing over tiles finishes his "Frühstückspause" (his breakfast break).

"But you aren't doing anything and I'm the only customer here" says G (already knowing that it is a lost cause).

"Ah, but that's HIS job" says ever-so-pleasant-customer-oriented assistant.

20 minutes later (and I kid you not), TileMan arrives and hands tiles over.  That is, he takes the package from the shelf - just over there, the one with our name on - and gives the tiles to G.  I can understand how he needed a four-year-apprenticeship to get to that level

So add this firm to your list of NEVER TO BE USED - https://www.keramundo.de/

G came home and tried to organise the "We'll do everything to remedy the situation  just to minimise the disruption & inconvenience that we've already caused you" company.

They had promised to lay the tiles, fix the drain, fit the glass partition and repaint the stair.  All in one day. 

They said.

"Emm sorry about this" said Herr Depp MMM** (Geschäftsführer - Allgemeinscheiße GmbH***).

The glass isn't ready (it's only been a week and organising a 1m² panel of glass has to have approval from the EU and the UN, or somesuch other bullshit). 

But they'll come on Monday at 8 a.m. and do the tiles (regardless if this is convenient to us or not).  They'll sort out dates for the glass and painting some other time (obviously not at our convenience).

While they're here on Monday, they'll have to repair the heating as well.

You may remember me saying that the underfloor heating that we had in Bathroom now worked.  That's true, but you can't switch it off anymore.  Or the radiator.  It just constantly pumps out heat and won't turn off.

The cost of which we'll have to pay for - because it is our heating and not their's.

You couldn't make it up.  And I don't.

Maybe this is actually a hallucination from my illness. 

But we all know better than that.

*From a 1978/9, song that I love apart from the big saxophone solo in the middle 

**MMM - number 3000 on my list

***Chief Executive - General Shit PLC