Bugzilla!

The scene: Exterior, front porch. Four fast friends are enjoying the morning sunlight. Suddenly, a large green bug approaches! Four tiny screams! The bug is fierce and mean, ready to attack! No, oh no! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!! It's BUGZILLA!!!!!!

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What actually transpired . . .

The scene: Morning, front porch. A large, green katydid - a gentle spirit with a friendly disposition - has been hanging around for several days. It has made friends with the crittergators and their pals.

Director: OK, everybody, LINE UP in the sun. Good, face forward so we can get a nice shadow there.

Everybody lines up, sort of. There is giggling among the ranks.

Director: Stop giggling! Everybody behave! Now we need the bug . . . OK, bug, come on over here. Stage center. Now, let's see your meanest face.

The bug looks confused, grins for the camera. The four fast friends are grinning, too.

Director: My GRANNY could make a meaner face than that! I mean it! Show me your WAR FACE! And . . . and . . . wave those antennas around like you mean business! You over there: yes, you four. Stop grinning and TRY TO LOOK SCARED! Roll, cameras!

The bug gives it another go. It tries its best to make a mean face. It twitches its antennas to the left, then to the right. Giggling breaks out among the ranks again.

Director: CUT!! Bug, nice antenna action; can you give it just a bit more gusto? OK, who's giggling? You on the right! STOP giggling!

Red bug on right: I'm sorry, but when its antennas touch me, it tickles!

Director: OK, everybody back in line! Green bug, ADVANCE! Look fierce! Wave those antennas! Everybody else, try to look SCARED! NOBODY TOUCH ANYBODY ELSE! Roll cameras!

The green bug makes a funny face. More giggling. Somebody pinches somebody else. Somebody sneezes. Dust flies. The director sighs. It's going to be a long day.

Director: CUT! CUT! CUT! Everybody take a five-minute break and we'll try this again . . .